BobServo: I had no idea that Jamie from Mythbusters was such a staunch Republican. I guess that's why they buried a bunch of poor people in concrete in the last episode to see if anyone would arrest them.

Myth busted. :(

Brad: Don't you hate it when you're in a crowded elevator or subway and some guy with just the biggest, most luscious mustache is standing right across from you and it's like "don't look, don't look" but then you can't help it you just HAVE to look and of course right when you do they look at you and totally catch you checking out their upper lip?

BobServo: I once sat next to a guy like that on the bus and he had at least eight ounces of corn stuck in his mustache. And I'm talking about those miniature cobs you find in Chinese food.

He had a pretty good sense of humor about the whole thing. I guess you'd have to.

Brad: I'm sorry teabag dude, it's not like I think of men as just walking mustaches, and if we had a conversation I'm sure I'd get to know you as a person, but right now I'm just a red-blooded male and I'm checking out that huge 'stache. Deal with it.

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.

  • Helping Your Real Friends Move

    Helping Your Real Friends Move

    A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.