Brad: Finally, a situation where waterboarding would result not only in pain and false confessions, but also a tasty beverage.
BobServo: Just when I thought dumpy white people couldn't get any dumpier, they take small, wet sacks of leaves and staple them to their hats. The only way this image could be more unappealing is if this woman's face was smeared with A-1, which may indeed by happening north of the creepy baboon's ass emerging from her upper and lower chins. Legend has it, she also possesses a single, glowing eye that emits hatred as a noxious gas that often takes the form of Glenn Beck. Truly she is the balrog of the politically uninformed.
Brad: You have to hand it to her. Literally draping herself in corporate logos in order to protest against the government is just about the most efficient way ever to spit on the legacy of civil disobedience in this country. Even the guy walking around wearing nothing but a diaper made out of steak and an American flag cape with "FUCK HIPPIES" sharpied on his chest must be jealous.
BobServo: To be fair, he lit most of that flag on fire to keep himself warm.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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