While some domesticated animals eat pastries and grow slovenly, our hero must live the life of a Porcupine Hunted.


Lucidphoole prays at bushes, like a reformed druid.


Happy Go Lumpy will come back as a squirrel in the next life and run right up your pants leg.


Happy Go Lumpy contrasts two guys in a gorilla costumes with one fellow who just stopped shaving last month.


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  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

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