Page Ten: Have Some Suffering
Because I'm a jerk, it's time to make fun of some of the worst images submitted.
In case you missed the hilarious and subtle joke featured in this "groovehouse" image, I took the liberty of highlighting it. If you will direct your eyes to the area labeled "the funny part" you will see the area you need to laugh at. Oh wait, it's not funny. Sorry to put you through all that effort!
I'm not sure what the hell is going on in this "Darknyte" picture since it's all a bunch of surrealist nonsense and weird color patterns, but I have a feeling it's not good. In fact, it's so not good it easily rivals the thrill and excitement of being eviscerated by a miniature poodle wearing a small red sweater. What's up with that? If you're going to make a dog wear a sweater, put some freaking pants on it, too. Otherwise it just looks wrong. Like this image:
Thanks a bundle to "RipVTide" for kicking us in the face with this stupid picture. Wow, this image is so well crafted you can't even tell he poorly wrote or typed a bunch of nearly unreadable text in such a way that it looks worse than a whole family photo album featuring nothing but autopsy pictures of head wound victims. Okay, so not many families keep those kind of pictures in their photo albums, but that just goes to show how uniquely awful this stupid picture is.
After looking at this "Lithium" submission, I can't help but hope and pray that he gets killed and/or eaten by a hobo. I hate lens flares and wigger humor a little bit more than the Great Satan hates pie, birthday parties, and presents. But like the Great Satan, I hate "Lithium" and his skills. Have fun in hell, flame bait.
That's it, I just can't go on any longer. Thanks to the Something Awful Forum Goons who contributed good stuff and a big negative thanks to the people who submitted crap. If you read all of this, thank you as well. If you haven't read any of this, including this sentence right here, I hope you get attacked by ducks. Please join us next week when we Photoshop pictures of you being attacked by ducks.
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
There's no easy way to put this, so I'll tell it like it is. Bouillon is died. He went missing before the weekend and yesterday I found his skeletonized remains at the bottom of the #3 soup vat during one of my swims. I thought the cream of mushroom soup had an especially nourishing taste, and a lot more clumps of fur and skin than usual.
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