No woman will ever post this thread about me. (sad face)



"I'm a good person". Well there's your problem right there.



Dude, calm down. There are rarely ever complications when bringing in another person into your sex life. Never!



Ehh, Canada.



Here is a true account of my encounter with Al Borman.



Her tell-all book is coming out next Summer. It's titled "I Dated a Goon: A Story of Survival".



Just be quiet and know your place. You're a woman! You don't GET to have a say in what goes on during sex!



Getting aroused by your boyfriend to the point of orgasm is cause for alarm.



Who the hell doesn't fantasize about grabbing their teacher's big titties in 6th grade? Hell, I'm fantasizing about grabbing my teacher's big titties right now.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.