If he was a clean person his penis wouldn't smell!

That username coupled with that post makes me kind of depressed.

It's when your dick bends down like Gonzo. We've covered this already!

You and your wife have sex. Well isn't that great.

Her vagina is a sponge.

I love to jack off but I go to the regular arcade as I find the sounds of Marvel vs. Capcom arousing.

Aw, how romantic.

(sad face)

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.