It's time now for the adventures of ottothecat2004. 
Vote ottothecat2004 in '08! 
Guys, I'm worried for the fate of a billion dollar multinational company that doesn't even know I exist. 
I broke my arm but I just NEED my video games. 
Don't hate the playa, hate the game. 
Fun fact: 90% of girl gamers are in fact gay guys. 
This Week on Something Awful...
Chuck Palahniuk's Lifehacks
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
SkyMall Product Review: Singing Gondolier
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
The No Bullshit Steps to Total Contentment
Enough fads! Follow a guaranteed path to peace and contentment.
Celebrating 25 Years Of Everyone's Favorite Character: Crowd Guy
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Owls with Human Legs!
Finally, the SA Goons find a worthy spiritual successor to 'Birds with Human Hands'!
About This Column
There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.
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