I appreciate your offer of dinner, but I'm still a little full from all that boar's cum-gel.

Sex change technology has gotten to be pretty amazing if you saw a slug crawl into someone's vagina and you still had no idea if it was a man or a woman.

My favorite movie? Oh that would be The Wicker Man.

You guys talk a lot of shit, but next thing you know we'll have another case of Mr. Hands.


More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

  • SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.