Osama Bin Laden is a reptoid!

I think it was some faggot practicing "alchemy" that blew up my apartment. I'm convinced half the units in this complex are meth labs.

Spider Demon: 1. GhostUnit414: 0.

Tonight on UPN 13 ACTION NEWS, what you don't know about personal teleporters CAN KILL YOU. We'll tell you what it is after Star Trek.

It's shit like this that gets Oliver Stone off.

There is no power greater than Superman and that's that! Well, maybe Batman.

"Freaky" is the kind of guy you see on those freeway off-ramps asking for money.

If you want something done right gosh darnitt, send a scientist!

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.