Every day is a rainy day because God is crying.
I think if you got really, really enormously fat - like 850 pounds - and you tried to stand up really fast, that maybe you could make your skeleton burst out of the top of your body.
Wow, what an unexpected surprise. Just like when someone dumps their baby's foul-ass diaper in the open window of your car on a 95 degree day.
Remember in the movie Dave where Kevin Kline was hooked up to those giant robotic arms and he stuck them out and said "I once caught a fish thiiiiis biiiiig"? Do they still have those?
Holy Good God Moses
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.