My god.

Internet dating is a perfectly good idea and nothing ever goes wrong.

Why would any guy call himself a stunt bitch?

You dumb fuckers play games so much that your bones are decomposing! Get off your ass and go outside! Fuck!

He's like some kind of ultra insane super nerd.

Seeing as how most of these guys would fuck their daughters anyway I don't see the problem here.

Holy fuck guys. This jerk asked me to write a feature for his dumb web page. Quick! Someone crop and resize a bunch of images of forum posts and write a bunch of shitty captions above them! I need this by tonight!

Hurry! My mom is coming up the stairs to make sure I'm asleep as we speak! She's gonna kill me! Oh shit here she is fuck!

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.