"PanzerFaust0" easily captures the first post.

Just do what the rest of the passive-agressive faggot nerd population does and write anonymous emails, it's easy as pie!

"Basically I want to make a shirt that says 'I honor the fallen heroes of 9/11 and Afghanistan and Iraq and the Space Shuttle Columbia and that mine that collapsed and that guy that died at Disneyland' but I want it in Arabic so if I tackle an Al-Qaeda guy he knows who he's dealing with.

I like it when guys get all crazy on the Internet because chances are in real life they're timid little dudes. It's kind of cute really, like if you had a Teddy Ruxpin doll and it started yelling at you about stuff.

You know what, "Anal_Whore"? You're really not helping here, and frankly, I'm a little put off by your negativity.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.