Lockmeup

Guys and gals that are totally into wearing big metal belts over their crotches for the purpose of not getting it on. Why? Your guess is as good as any. It's back to the drawing board for you, buddy.

"dutchmyn" doesn't seem to really understand the point of torture.

Eeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggghhhhhhhhhhh

Oh hey, check out #6! Sign me up!

Let's try to make this end badly. Really try.

Nothing about this situation is normal.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.