I had this exact problem in high school as well except it wasn't a girl and it was a teacher.

There you have it. Dogs, yes. Hamsters, no. END OF STORY.

I think Krystal is a character from Star Fox Adventures and every furry's dreamgirl.

Stop doing drugs. Or do more drugs I don't know.

Thanks for this lesson in business.

He shouldn't talk to his mom for a month? But how is he going to get her to drive him to his girlfriend's house so he can clumsily finger her while she fakes what she thinks an orgasm should look like before she gives him a sloppy blowjob??? YOUNG LOVE.

Collecting nerd shit: my anti-drug.

Well when you're 53 it's about damn time.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2018 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.