Rapture Ready

As you may or may not know I have been very busy lately. That's why I have asked my good friend God to help me with this section of Weekend Web, a Christian forum called Rapture Ready. Put your hands together and give it up for the creator of all existance, God!

Thank you Spokker. You know, I'm sick and tired of people getting all bent out of shape when their "lover" or "significant other" just ups and dies or gets killed or whatever. Look, I kill these people because they were going to be the next Hitler, or become a serial killer, or are fans of The View. I do everything for a reason.

Yeah pray all you want suckers. I'm not getting up off my ass for nothing. The Rocky and Bullwinkle marathon just started!

What a slut.


Oh me. Get over yourself.

Boy is "MrMann's" face going to be red when he finds out that's just my nickname.

BANNED. From life.

I'm going to make a sandwhich.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.