Show me your tits.

With a name like "TaxCollector" this guy must be the life of the party.

I don't let my kids watch Full House because you know one of those men had to be a child molester.

You're talking about the great big bonfire party in the sky and judging from your SAT scores you ain't comin'!

Afraid to be happy? What the hell kind of freaks did I create?

Yeah, I'm sure a lot of Christians "tell it like it is".

Mel Gibson is the biggest douchebag in heaven right now I'll tell you that much.

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling, I want you to play, with my ding-a-ling.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.