Steve: A road construction crew of 3030.
Zack: "Excuse me, ma'am, we're here to read the meter. No, I'm not wearing anything under my straw vest, why do you ask?
Steve: Yeah, he's alarmingly naked.
Zack: His sexual identity is wrapped up in not wearing any pants, bigot. The Kyriarchy conditions him to feel shame for his lower half, but he knows he wasn't meant to wear pants. Why do we even need pants?
Steve: I don't think I could ever have a dog jump on my lap if I didn't have pants. That would be super weird.
Zack: What if the dog is actually your mother from another Heinleinian dimension and she wants to have sex with you?
Steve: What if it was you and you had a tiger head and were wearing boxing gloves?
Zack: Sounds like we're going down tot he basement for bottomless sundaes.
Steve: Bottomless everything.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Magic the Gathering: Arabian Nights (1993) and Antiquities (1994)
- Rifts Worldbook 10: Juicer Uprising (1996)
- Magic the Gathering: Alpha (original set, 1993)
- Heroes Unlimited (1984/1993)
- Space: 1889 (1988)