Zack: I wanted to start things off tame with this one. It's going to get a lot worse, folks. Just a heads up.
Steve: This picture looks good to me.
Zack: Pretty standard fare for RPGs and video games pandering to a majority male audience. Nothing shocking, really, except the quantity. Exalted features breasts in almost every picture.
Steve: My kind of game.
Zack: They don't care if it's a necromancer woman, an assassin, or a monster lady. They will all have huge breasts prominently displayed.
Steve: I don't understand why people are suddenly all up in arms over boobs. Boobs are great. Should they be hidden away in shame? Let's put them out there.
Zack: Rather than lecture you about male gaze and objectification, which I think you know and you're just playing dumb, I am going to point out that MONSTER LADIES DON'T NEED TITS.
Steve: Yeah, but they don't don't need boobs either.
Zack: Do you eat candy for every meal?
Steve: Define candy.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.