Zack: Everything Erol Otus illustrates looks supernaturally unwholesome. It's like David Cronenberg's body horror fantasies combined with the drug trip you get from traveling into the Amazon jungle, nearly dying from diseases and dehydration, and then licking just the right kind of frog during an eclipse.
Steve: His stuff always looked sexual. Goo spraying everywhere and penis-shaped mushrooms.
Zack: Like the other dreams you have once a week.
Steve: No, the other dream I have is where I find Keith in the closet in my bedroom and I think he is an intruder so I shoot him over and over again with a gun while a woman starts moaning.Zack: It's like Freud used to say: sometimes shooting a gun into your friend repeatedly while a woman moans is just shooting a gun into your friend repeatedly while a woman moans.
Steve: Psychology has been completely discredited anyway. I learned that by staring at John Travolta's Christmas card.Zack: Human existence has been discredited by John Travolta. He is the living answer to a question that proves us wrong.
Steve: No doubt dude, some fifth dimension alien is asking an Erol Otus mushroom "Why?" and John Travolta's huge corpse face with his hair hat is smiling and erasing us from existence.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.