Zack: Egads! He ate the cursed froyo!
Steve: Dang man if wizards were like this in all games I would totally play a wizard. Exploding dude's heads and stuff is way color than casting stinking cloud and grease and making some dudes fly down a hill into fart valley.Zack: All wizards must work their way through the Bigby's Itching Arm and Tasha's Mildly Unpleasant Hiccups to get to the Power Word: Skin Flip.
Steve: Cast intestines to snakes and turn their guts into cobras. Or like make an illusion of a hot babe, but when they get close to her to feel up her butt she's really a bunch of cobras and they get stung.
Zack: It's needs to be more violent. Give the cobras acid venom so their blood starts melting out of their veins.
Steve: And their veins are cobras too.
Zack: Ripping through their skin and biting them even more until they are melting into a pool of guts and cobras.
Steve: With an eyeball skull on top.
Zack: Now you've got the hang of this game.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.