Zack: Hell yes, now we're into the real stuff. The horrors of drug addiction, which, like everything, can be accurately modeled with a random table.
Steve: So wait a second, any drug can have any effect?Zack: Yup! The game that has detailed stats for 25 different pistols reduces drugs to a video game pill that you take and suffer a random consequence.
Steve: Some of these aren't even bad.
Zack: Smoked a joint and hallucinated my wife was a unicorn angel wearing nothing but belts and I could not parry him!
Steve: Don't worry, dude, he was more afraid of you than you were of him.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.