Lowtax: No you idiot, you put the ring inside the box and THEN put it on her finger.
Zack: GET THAT THING OFF MY POOL TABLE!
Zack: I don't got time to look at your skeleton hands.
Lowtax: It's being shielded by the Green Lantern.
Lowtax: Don't worry, it's safe.
Lowtax: I like how the hand is severed somewhere below the wrist, and somebody took the time to smooth down the bone.
Zack: She was married to such a handsome skeleton too.
Lowtax: Do skeletons have to worry about getting their tacky rings resized?
Zack: As you get older and your metabolism slows down your bones spread out a little bit.
Lowtax: Yeah additionally so if you eat those chewy sour vitamins for adults.
Zack: If you eat enough of those your skeleton will molt. Which is what happened here. Forgot to take her ring off and woke up with her old skeleton on the bed.
Lowtax: I can understand keeping that 25-cent ring safe in the unlocked box, but why the entire hand?
Lowtax: Was she really good at poker or fast draw dueling in the west, and didn't want to risk an enemy taking her hand for their own?
Zack: Maybe it's a musical instrument.
Lowtax: Like during the seige scene in Army of Darkness?
Zack: Some 4th grade band class has a kid blowing on a skeleton hand next to a glockenspiel.
Lowtax: "Call child welfare... and ask his parents where they bought such a beautiful ring!"
Zack: They just rented the hand at guitar center and it came with that spit valve.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.