Steve: Rifts is obsessed with squirt guns. Squirt guns hurt vampires so the Rifts vampires book is like all stuff like this.
Zack: Yeah, sure, water is basically the easiest thing to find in Canada next to air, but we prefer magical water.
Steve: The water is more pure. Less pollution.
Zack: How do you know that? What studies have been done? Has the EPA tested it? This mommy wants her babies protected from unsafe magically created water. I'm not trusting my babies around these Canadian squirt guns.
Steve: Then your babies will die to the vampires!
Zack: Then prepare to get sued in federal court for allowing those vampires near my babies.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- The Art of Werewolf: The Apocalypse (1990s)
- Dungeons & Dragons Christmas Elf Retrospective
- More Art of Vampire: The Maquerade (1990s)
- Steve's RPG Thankfulness
- AD&D 2nd Edition Spelljammer: Space Lairs
