Steve: Is it the most badass metal album cover ever? Nope, just another sweet as heck Rifts cover.
Zack: Rifts Japan: robots. Rifts Russia: robots. Rifts Atlantis: robots. Rifts Minnesota: robots. Rifts Africa: literal skeleton, apocalyptic skies, and plagues of locusts.
Zack: At least it's not called "the dark continent."
Steve: I don't know what you're implying dude locusts are a real problem in Africa as are four-armed skeletons riding blood beasts.
Zack: His little skull saddle thing is kind of cute. I wonder who makes stuff like that for an evil skeleton monster. Do you think there's a little skeleton guy who puts stuff together for him?
Steve: I think when you're a skeleton overlord things just sort of fall into place. You don't have to worry about the details.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.