Steve: Siembieda just checking in here with another superfluous list of guns for your characters to be shot with.
Zack: They always look the same and the stats in a game like this does not really have a level of detail that warrants all these different boring shapes for doing damage.Steve: Dude, this one includes wooden rockets to shoot vampires.
Zack: I'm pretty sure one of the Rifts books had the stats for 20 different squirt guns. No joke.
Steve: You need just the right Super Soaker for every combat scenario.
Zack: Bucket of Water, 6D6 underneath a three tone shaded sketch of a bucket with a digital readout on the side.
Steve: Garden Hose, Full Auto, 3D6, unless you put your thumb over it and then it becomes a cone attack weapon like a shotgun.
Zack: Bath Tub, the Coalition's ultimate equalizer against the vampires.
Steve: Yeah, we're vampires that die when we get hit with water. Let's set up our base in a rain forest.
Zack: Rain, 6D6 x 10, area of effect under a three tone shaded sketch of a raindrop.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Guess what's back? Frosty tundras! And me.
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.