Steve: I guess when you got it, flaunt it. And by "it" I do of course mean deadly sword-fighting skills and intellect.
Zack: She should be careful swinging that sword around like that she is liable to cut off her everything.
Steve: When you think about it, it's actually pretty practical.
Zack: Right, that will come in handy if she needs a bib and a chainmail merkin for some reason.
Steve: Yeah but that's like good mobility so you can do sword moves.
Zack: I don't know if I can fully comprehend your argument because of these technical terms you are throwing around. What are "sword moves"?
Steve: Like a chop and a stab, maybe a swing and then an opposite direction swing. You know, brutal sword moves, executed with precision. If she was wearing something more constricting like a kevlar vest she could not swing around as well.
Zack: Yes, if she were wearing a traditional swordfighter's kevlar vest she might have trouble with her chop.
Zack: And her boobs would not fly all over the place like a couple of oranges wearing a wig.
Steve: That is also a consideration.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Play your entire PS1 library from a single SD card. But not your Brady Strategy Guides.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.