Steve: The provisions chapter in Synnibarr is one of my favorites. You've got like rope and a lantern and then later in the chapter are spaceships and missiles that can destroy everything in a 25-mile radius.
Zack: "Yes, I will take one mule, a length of twine, two cups of oats and a missile that can destroy a city."
Steve: You can also be a dwarf who buys a rail gun to fight a were dragon.
Zack: So if a dragon bites you then you turn into a dragon?
Steve: No, if a were dragon bites you then you turn into a were dragon.
Zack: What if the dwarf is bit by the were dragon on board his spaceship? Would he turn into a dwarf were dragon?
Steve: There are no rules for dwarf were dragons so I guess I would say you die.
Zack: Somewhere is a little person who is furious at being discriminated against by the rules of Synnibarr.
Steve: But the dude has a spaceship and a rail gun so that should keep him happy.
Zack: He shouldn't have to settle, Steve!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Play your entire PS1 library from a single SD card. But not your Brady Strategy Guides.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.