Steve: "Welcome to the first meeting of the cosmically good hair club."
Zack: "We call upon you, oh ancients, to volumize and style us."
Steve: Way more people would go to church if it was like this.
Zack: What, officiated by Carl Sagan with luxurious gray hair in a church crumbling into the cosmos itself?Steve: No, dude, with super sweet robes and effects and hot babes all around you.
Zack: Those are not hot babes.
Steve: Argh!! Even the wizard book is the worst, luring me in with the hot ghost babe on the cover and then giving me nothing but tons of men.
Zack: Billions and billions of men.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.