Shock the crowd this Halloween!

With your amazing "bowling" talents. You'll be a league all your own this Halloween! The Shocker Adult Costume includes: A tan hand shaped tunic with three fingers up. Guaranteed to be a crowd pleaser this Halloween!

  • Available in One-Size fits most adults.
  • Includes one hand shaped tunic.
  • Shirt, pants, and shoes are not included.
  • Check out our large selection of humorous costumes for a hilarious group theme this Halloween.

Zackula: This joke just keeps getting funnier every time I see it made by someone I coincidentally want to drive over with a truck.

Dr. Thorpenstein: "Ha! Check it out, bros! I'm the thing we all did in our school yearbook picture that got Coach Patterson fired! Woooooo!"

Zackula: Even worse than this costume is that a bunch of people will probably tell this guy that it's hilarious at the party.

Dr. Thorpenstein: The hideously shortened digits on this costume are sort of reminiscent of a baby's hand, aren't they? A baby giving the shocker. A baby putting two fingers in a vagina and one finger in an anus.

Zackula: What is Frat Brother? Imagine a giant baby hand probing a human anus and vagina forever.

Zackula: And the worst part of all is the fingers make it harder to decapitate this guy in one stroke when you inevitably attack him from behind with a machete.

Dr. Thorpenstein: Yeah, it would be kind of a complicated stroke, but I think it's doable, and I think the added challenge just augments the satisfaction you'd feel afterwards.

Zackula: He's like one of those lizards with fake eye patterns on its tail to confuse predators or a fish that from underneath looks like a baby fingering an asshole.

Dr. Thorpenstein: When you kill a guy like this, you don't even get the whole "oh God, I've killed a man" thing, you just sit down, light up a cigarette and wait for the cops.

Zackula: By the way, someone actually posted a photo of their husband wearing the costume in the reviews:

Dr. Thorpenstein: It's even more horrible and shapeless in the photo.

Zackula: I would like to see that guy cornered by the potato guy.

Dr. Thorpenstein: "Eew, get offa me, bro! I ain't into nubs! I'm all about folds!"

Zackula: Potato guy walks him into a corner, little arms waving, backing him up against the yard's privacy fence, and everyone wonders what's going on back there in the corner and then when the potato turns around a half-digested skeleton falls to the ground.

Dr. Thorpenstein: Its degloved, meat-dripping hand still locked in a hideous "shocker" position.

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About This Column

Fashion SWAT... the fashion industry is obsessed with impracticality. We know that what designers create was never meant to be worn by the grimy masses, but that doesn't somehow diminish how ridiculous many of these costumes are. Make no mistake, they are costumes, and like a Halloween prize pageant we will turn our discerning gaze on the grievous fashion misfires of Paris, Milan, and New York. We're not pulling any punches, and we're definitely not interested in making any friends. We're Joan Rivers without Melissa Rivers to temper our screeching. We're the Fashion Police in jack boots. We are Fashion SWAT.

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