~*~ Ask / Tell ~*~
Ask me about being a Swinger, or "So Many Boobs, So Little Time...". A wise man once said that before you criticise someone you should walk a mile in his shoes. In this modern age we have no need for shoes so I suggest penetrating a mile into his wife, after you do so you can then criticise him if you so wish.
Tell me about your experiences with homeless people. As I turn up the collar on my favourite winter coat - this wind is blowin' my mind. I see the kids in the street with not enough to eat - who am I to be blind, pretending not to see their needs? A summer's disregard, a broken bottle top and a one man's soul - they follow each other on the wind ya' know? It's 'cause they got nowhere to go. That's why I want you to know - I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways.
Tell Me About Modern Occultism. By the beard of Lucifa Morningstar! These virtual Ouija boards are all the rage and are really bringing our heathenpagangentile practices into the modern age. What say you to a can of pigs blood?
Tell me about trebuchets. The Trebuchet is the master siege unit in Age of Empires II.
~*~ Sports Argument Stadium ~*~
Reppin': Georgia Leech
Best-Drafting Team in the Expansion Era? - Take a gander at how amazing teams would be if free agency had never existed. Damn you, Curt Flood! How many lives must you ruin?
ALCS Discussion Thread - Tampa Bay vs. Boston - If you believe in either God or any sort of just world, you'll want Tampa Bay to win this series.
NLCS Discussion Thread - Philadelphia vs Los Angeles - Wait a minute, why is the pitcher coming up to bat? What? There's no designated hitter in the National League? Fuck this, I'm watching House reruns.
AFC West: The Anti-NFC East - Brought to you by SteelAngel2000 of "Dear Ed 'Guns' Hochuli" fame, take a look at the inner workings of the NFL's most boring division. How boring, you ask? Three of the four teams are known more for their coaches and owners than the product they put on the field.
Rules are fun! Let's all learn the fucking rules! - Don't quite understand the rules of football? Curious as to how things work? Then why the hell are you in a sports forum dominated by American posters? Go play soccer.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
The Something Awful Forums: the last bastion of sanity on the Internet. "Forum Fridays" glances at some of the most interesting and popular threads from nearly each forum, highlighting a handful of threads each week.