~*~ Ask / Tell ~*~
Ask me about working in the fashion industry. Is it depressing working in such a shallow industry? Why haven't you slit your wrists yet? What's it like doing something meaningless? Does my bum look big in this? WHY CAN I WEAR A SARONG AT THE BEACH JUST BECAUSE I AM A MAN?!!
Ask me about working as a stripper. What I've always wanted is a stripper who goes that extra bit of distance for you. Maybe impersonate your famous movie actor whilst she does her thing. I would pay for that.
ASK me anything about scuba diving. The thing about scuba diving is that if (when?) something goes wrong then your death is going to involve a good minute or two of utter panic. Yeah, FUCK THE OCEAN.
Names for a newsletter in the bathroom? Why not make it double as toilet paper? Save the environment. Oh and also it needs to just be called "poo" but in the Time Magazine font.
In these contentious political times it is more important than ever to work together in a bipartisan way with the people who said I should be thrown out of a helicopter for being an Antifa terrorist.
This Halloween, log off and visit your friends at the local Halloween Superstore.
Better than expected, and absolute garbage
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