PlaneShift has plagued the internet for quite some time and I even remember trying to play it many years ago when I was a kid. There were no monsters and I think all of four places existed at the time but hey, it's graphics were just as good as the original Everquest. Without anything to do, I went off to do something... anything... better with my time (probably Diablo 2) and never looked back until now. Surprisingly, unlike most games, mods, and projects on the internet (even the seemingly good ones), PlaneShift has refused to die.

I had never intended to review this game because I figured it was so incomplete that it would just waste my time. However, the following email changed my mind (I only kept the important parts and bolded the most important parts since the email was kind of long):

Get it? Holmes and Watson? Eh? Eh??I was directed to a SA post in which you posted the letter/email I sent you suggesting to interview PlaneShift. Full disclosure: I work for a similar project called Peragro Tempus. Talad got wind of that forum post and contacted me accusing me of intending to generate negative publicity for PlaneShift and threatened me with a ban if I continued my misdeeds against PlaneShift. [...]

[...]Talads threat to sue people for bad press about PS was located here:

but he has now deleted his posts and I can't find an internet archive of it. I wish I had a log of his conversation with me and his threats to ban me from their irc and forums.[...]

In any case I just found his reaction to that post of yours amusing.
Whether or not you do is beyond me. Obviously this message is reaching the point where it far exceeds your attention span so I'll abdict.

Take care,

Brant Watson

Well thanks for the email Brant and sorry you got banned I guess! Anyhow, it appears this Salad guy hates any bad press about his precious video game so much that he threatens to sue people. Well Salad, get ready to threaten me until your balls turn red because your MMO is next on the Roulette!


Nice tits.The pain begins very early with character creation. Normally I don't even bother review this part of an MMO so you know it had to suck. Since people get a big internet boner when character customization goes beyond three total possibilities, Planeshift tried to add as much useless shit as possible. Hell, you'd think the more crap you can customize the better, right? Well no wonder you are such a failure with those ideas! Planeshift shows us that you can pile on as much crap as you want in character creation but it can still suck miserably.

Facial features and skin tones don't exist and if you try to change any of the hair color, beards, faces, or hair itself, you are doing so in vain. Female models don't even exist yet (for most races including Humans) and considering that this game has been in production for the last seventy years, that's a pretty big oversight. Then again, I wouldn't expect many females to flock to this turd of a game.

After picking where you were born, what your parents did, any life event you could have possibly had as a child, as well as your favorite condiment you are almost ready to begin! Personally, my guy was born in a cave, killed small animals as a child, and his lover rejected him by sending her twin to dump him (those were the best predetermined options). His favorite condiment:bloodketchup.

If you somehow manage to find a name that the game won't reject, you are treated to the wonderful tutorial. By wonderful I mean worst fucking tutorial that has ever been created by man, beast, or machine. I can capture how bad this tutorial really is with one point: YOU NEED TO USE A TUTORIAL TO GET THROUGH THE TUTORIAL in which all you do is say "yes, ready, ready, yes, yes, ready." The dumb thing doesn't even teach you anything other than the fact the game uses the archaic "actually talk to NPCs to do anything" method. Planeshift is a game that heavily encourages role playing and their idea of realistic conversation falls along the lines of people spouting, "give me quest" and "Miranda sent me" over and over.

I can cover the "Grind/Quests" area fairly quickly: The quests are horrible and all the ones I encountered gave me a vague description of what I was supposed to do (mostly just go talk to another NPC and figure out what the fuck they wanted me to say to advance).

This is the least fun I have ever had in a game. -10 (for both Grind/Quest and Fun)

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About This Column

"Free" MMORPGs have grown in popularity to the point of supersaturation. How on Earth can one person possibly play them all and determine the best platform for painfully long level grinding, illiterate online communities, and fatal bugs? MMO Roulette examines a different online "free" role playing game every other week, providing you the lowdown on each. Every chamber is loaded when you play MMO Roulette.

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