Trillaphon: I can’t decide which is funnier - the producers of this movie tricking that fat kid into thinking he has some kind of actual future in acting by casting him as a walking fart noise, or the director thinking it’d be a great idea to have the other kid pretend to take a picture with a phone that’s clearly off while the camera stares straight at it.
Hydrogen: That’s a head-scratcher, but both options are way funnier than any of the intentional attempts at comedy to be found here.
Trillaphon: You know you’re in deep trouble when the best actor in your "comedy" movie by far is Chris Farley’s lesser known brother Kevin, whose other classic roles include “that one guy from The Waterboy so forgettable he doesn’t even show up in 1,000 word plot summaries of the film” and “Drunk Santa” in the critically-panned Friends spinoff Joey.
Hydrogen: Being the least hateable person in this movie isn’t exactly clearing a high bar, but to give you an idea of just how shitty and half-assed this movie is, Kevin Farley is so above their level that they could only even get him for a total of about 10 minutes of screentime. He’s like the Ice-T of this movie.
Trillaphon: I bet no Farley ever thought they would end up being the Ice-T of anything.
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Following America's defeat in World War 3, allied forces uncovered a number of experimental weapon prototypes in the hotel-compound of Trump's loyalist Space Force army. Had the war continued just a few more months, these secret weapons would have changed the course of the war.
Are there arrows in Tomb Raider? "No. Absolutely not."
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