This weekend I received a partial leaked script from a friend of mine working behind the scenes on the CBS remake of The Six Million Dollar Man. It seems like it might turn out even better than the excellent remake of The Bionic Woman, but we'll have to see. No word on when it will air, but there are rumors circulating it may actually run opposite The Bionic Woman if that show returns for a second season. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy the partial script sent to me by my friend.
EXT. STUNT PARK - Day
STEVE AUSTIN and MELODIE JENNINGS are at a skateboarding stunt park frequented by teenagers. The kids are all worked up and cheering. Steve is about to perform his big stunt on a skate ramp. NATHAN DARKALON watches from the edge of the stunt park.
Steve Austin, no one has ever tried this jump before. It's too high!
Melodie Jennings, you are sweet, but I have got to do this for my dad who died in Iraq.
He would want you to be safe. Stay safe.
Are you chicken, Austin? Are you gonna do this or what?
Steve kisses Melodie and then straps on his camouflaged helmet. It has his dad's name on it, ROCK AUSTIN, and a hole where the sniper's bullet killed him. Steve says a quick silent prayer to a Christian god and kicks off down the ramp. He picks up speed, faster and faster.
CUT to awe-struck crowd reactions. SLOW MOTION of Melodie yelling.
Steve explodes into the air, flying higher and higher. He's going to make it. He's going to make it. CRUNCH! His head hits the ramp, his body twists completely around. Steve is DEAD.
SMASH TO BLACK
BLACK LIVES MATTER!!! NOOOOOOO!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU HAVE CREATED A MONSTER, AN ABSOLUTE MONSTER!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Play your entire PS1 library from a single SD card. But not your Brady Strategy Guides.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.