This article is part of the That Insidious Beast series.

The drunken wanderings and mental meanderings of an American expat in London.
10/02/09 - Tuesday- 11:25 AM from web
shit it's war then

all channels on the tv went to an emergency card chimes and prime minister clayton came on from an undisclosed location. those planes early this morning bombed the outsider canton at Crawley and landed americans at gatwick. Fires everywhere and now I can hear the sirens in the streets from teh police.

Clayton said it was "unprovoked" and "tragic" and that King Charles is as resolute as he is in fighting back and throwing the americans out. "We will not rest until every inch of our country has been cleared of americans."

I hope that doesn't include me.

Update: look, I support England 100% and the King. I will volunteer for army if they will have me so stop acting like I wanted this to happen.

comments 205 | send link to a friend


10/02/09 - Tuesday - 3:06 PM from web
prayers go out to crews of ark royal and illustrous

I've been glued to the telly and I just wanted to make a post real quick to say that I am praying for the families and crews of the ark royal and illustrous and all the brave men and women of the fleet.

I just saw on the news and it is a despicable tragedy. they're saying both sunk by missiles along with escorts before they could even steam out of the channel. the americans have hundreds and hundreds of ships visible off the coast and they won't even let the helicopters from portsmouth rescue the survivors.

I am so sorry for what my former country is doing :(

update: showing a picture of one sinking sorry about quality

update 2: they're at the beaches now oh my god BBC has CCTV footage of hoplites and tanks coming ashore

update 3: tanks on the a23 just south of coulsdon guess the ones that landed at gatwick

update 4: can hear more planes overhead now

comments 92 | send link to a friend


10/02/09 - Tuesday - 4:43 PM from web
they're landing in london now

sky is full of parachutes and the guns are firing. There's one right outside my house now. Some tank sort of thing with four guns and it just keeps shooting up into the sky. there's something else. They bombed the TV out but on the radio they said something else. Some new thing. I don't know what it is but they talked to a soldier who said it was big and alive and it took apart his tanks. I need to get somewhere safe. I don't know.

I need to call tessa but the mobile networks are overloaded and I think they bombed the telephone exchange center. There's loud booms every few seconds. Some are far, some are so close I can feel the hot air blow in through the window. people are just standing around outside and they don't know waht to do. some people are running or getting in cars and trying to leave. Where would they go?

I need to get to shoreditch and find tessa. good luck to you guys

comments 55 | send link to a friend



More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful