Like all spec ops tier one operators you need to be ready to drop onto any island and execute maximum lethality to terminate the opposing force (OPFOR) and receive the chicken dinner (CHKDNR). This is how we do it. OORAH!
Every elite solider knows that the first step in the OZ (Operating Zone) is to take off your shoes. SpecOps top tier elite ops do everything barefoot. You will shuffle around much more quietly in buildings when you are crab-walking towards the objective to terminate the hostile tango.
RACISM. Cannot be stressed enough. Whether China Number One or you are going to shout the n-word, this is how you win wars here people. If a foreigner is on your team you need to expedite a tactical insertion of imitating the sounds of their language. Regardless, when the going gets tough you will yell to them for help and then blame them for any casualties incurred.
Choose the right drop point. Inserting on the right point is important. Let's take a look at the map:
I have circled viable drop points. The other locations on the map are wastelands of pistols and M16s.
You will notice the military base and the school are the only drop points. All other players drop on these two points so it will make the game very efficient as you kill all other enemies immediately. Also you might get a slightly better gun that you will drop when you die in one second when your team is driving past another team.
SCAR is LIFE. You want 2 SCARs to equip. More SCARs = More ELITE. If you cannot do this then you will also need a Kar 98k rifle with an 8X scope that you will use like a pirate's spyglass. You will horde ammunition and do not give any to your team you need 5-5-6.
Driving is good. You will want to drive in the motorcycle and do the "elite flip trick" where you flip it in the wheat fields, preferably with the circle closing in on you and a teammate on the motorcycle. If you cannot find a motorcycle then get into a Dacia automobile and immediately drive straight for the steepest hill. The longer it takes you to drive up that hill, the more pro your skills at tier one operating.
Help the team. If you happen to die you can still talk to your team and be an invaluable helper. "You should pick up the shotgun," you could say. "Why are you picking up so much ammo?" You could ask. "Go in those houses," you could suggest. "Why did you go in those houses?!" You could shout as your team dies because they went in the houses.
HAVE FUN! This is the most important tip. You need to have some fun! Try crouching in a bush for 10 minutes watching the circle shrink on the map. Not fun enough for you? Try running around an overcrowded zone frantically picking collecting gear only to be killed by one shot from a shotgun when you open the wrong door. This is FUN! Welcome to tier one elite operating.
It needs to consume human tissue! It needs to speak to your manager!
Scourgelord Vilius Mandragore gave a speech from our shattered capital on Friday and we are here to fact check his claims about his million year empire.
Reason 9: Ongoing mechanical issues with the internal Superman 64 fog machine.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.