Throw A Snuggie On
3 up, 144 down
To derail a conversation by mentioning a stupid pop culture fad of the moment.

"Hey, you know what else reminds me of fourth quarter losses? Pants on the Ground!"

"Oh my God, I have funniest remix of that! Let me play it on the projector."

"Well, you certainly threw a snuggie on this meeting."

Related: | shakeweighting | family guy |
Axe Effect Effect
3 up, 112 down
The terror and repulsion that grips women when a loathsome man gains unwarranted confidence from his pungent body spray.

"Hey ladies, mind if I join y-- hey, is she OK?"

"My god, it's the Axe Effect Effect! Get some paper towels to stop the bleeding!"

Related: | tagging out |
Night Gallery
0 up, 84 down
The Facebook profiles you only look at in late-night moments of depression, weakness, nostalgia or drunkenness.

"Man, last night I checked out my ex's profile, then looked up everyone from my graduating class to see who got fat or had kids. I was deep within the macabre terror of Rod Serling's Night Gallery."

Related: | the twilight zone | myspace |
I'm Getting The Hell Out Of Here, Away From You And Whatever It Is You're Doing
2 up, 813 down
The popular and oft-quoted line spoken by actor Brad Johnson in the 1993 science fiction film Philadelphia Experiment II. Used in practically any situation.

"Hey, I'm going to order some Thai food, want anything?"

"I'm Getting The Hell Out Of Here, Away From You And Whatever It Is You're Doing!"

"Shut up, you IMDBag."

Related: | you can't piss on hospitality |
1 up, 217 down
An annoying person who always points out when people are being "That Guy."

"I heard Linda just broke up with her boyfriend! Should I call her?"

"Dude, don't be That Guy."

"Yeah, well, don't be THAT Guy!"

Related: | THAT Guy | THAT THAT guy | that first guy again |
Malkovich Loop
12 up, 1296 down
The fruitless and often inescapable pondering of an incomprehensible film.

"Don't even get me started on Donnie Darko 4. I'll get stuck in a Malkovich Loop."

Related: | mullholland driving | kaufman's razor |

A round of applause to the resurgent Jed Kirchner, who wrote most of these! Visit his new blog for further enlightening content.

– Jed Kirchner with David Thorpe (@Arr)

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