4 Billion Years Ago
In the Cell stage, you begin life's journey as a single cell and climb the rungs of evolution until you are large enough to hit the beach.
To obtain DNA, swim into the food, colliding with it with your cell's mouth.
Note: To collect food, your cell must have a mouth.
As you eat food, you gain DNA points, which are displayed to the left of the Progress Bar. In the Cell Creator, you can spend these DNA points to add new parts and capabilities to help your cell to evolve.
Six fresh events. Six rad cave characters. Get bashed, beaten, chased and eaten. Cool cave action for one to six players.
Sinister events upset the peaceful harmony of an isolated martial arts school and draw you into a story that unfolds with drama, action, and adventure. Detailed followers and other non-player characters enrich the adventure by providing comic relief, rivalries, flirtations, and hostility. Stare in awe at the sweeping views of the lush environments, sheer vertical drops, and overpowering scale that provide the visual backdrop to the story. Confront wild outlaws, evil magicians, demonic incarnations, and other foul villains.
Choose a character with a unique appearance and quirks, a custom voice set, and a powerful combination of ability scores and fighting styles. You can choose to act for good or evil, and these decisions build your reputation, which precedes you throughout the land, changing the course of interaction with other characters and followers. Take the role of a master of martial arts and recruit followers to your cause in an interactive, living world.
Dante, a Templar knight, seeks to rescue the soul of his beloved Beatrice. Descend through the nine circles of Hell: limbo, lust, gluttony, greed, anger, heresy, violence, fraud, and treachery. Each circle features distinct environments, enemies, and story elements befitting the sins committed by their inhabitants, with large-scale beasts and bosses, some of which Dante will be able to fully tame, utilizing them to throw back Hell's wrath to its minions.
Armed with Death's Scythe, Beatrice's Holy Cross, magic powers and a deep, customizable upgrade system, take full advantage of fast and fluid gameplay running at a constant 60 frames per second.
The American Frontier
WHERE LEGENDS BECOME REALITY
The Metal Demons, legendary destroyers of Filgaia, are returning. Powerless, the Ancient Guardians call upon three to save their once green world - a warrior, who has the gunner's gift that many fear; a princess, empowered by magic and an enchanted teardrop; and a rogue, who claims his sword is his word...but are his motives pure?
SEEK AND DISCOVER the powers of the Golems, ELWs, ARMs, mythic weapons and more.
ENCOUNTER AND SURVIVE traps like ground spikes, vanishing bridges, and falling floors.
EXPLORE an interactive world by igniting bombs, activating switches, and throwing objects.
3D COMBAT with animated polygonal monsters and magic from multiple viewpoints.
CREATE powerful elemental magic through experimentation and discovery.
CONTROL the fight with Auto-Battle Commands and the New Force System.
World War II
It's World War II, and B.J. Blazkowicz -- the Allies' bad boy of espionage -- is a terminal action seeker built for abuse with an attitude to match. (That's you.) There's just one small problem: you've been captured by Nazis, tortured and imprisoned beneath the intricate maze of Castle Wolfenstein where you await an inhumane execution. Now, you must do anything and everything to escape from the belly of the Nazi dungeon. Or die trying.
(No One Lives Forever)
Your Mission: Assume the role of Cate Archer, a beautiful but deadly operative working for UNITY -- a super secret organization fighting to free the world from the clutches of H.A.R.M. Equipped with an arsenal of powerful weapons and ingenious gadgets, you must unravel a mystery that will lead you halfway around the world in a desperate search for answers.
15 missions across 60 levels. Unique situations worthy of any super spy -- skydive from a plummeting airliner, fight off killer sharks and explore twisted jungles!
Ride motorcycles and snowmobiles through vast, realistic landscapes and environments rich with texture and detail.
Choose your weapons carefully: an AK-47 assault rifle and a 9mm silenced automatic or an M79 grenade launcher and a silent but deadly crossbow with sniper scope.
Use stealth to take down the enemy from a distance or charge in with guns blazing.
Smart enemies move and react with striking realism. Watch them seek cover, respond to suspicious sounds or launch coordinated attacks.
Present Day America
The world is nearly dead. Everyday, you wake up to a wasteland where nothing is easy and little is good. Nothing is as it once was. This dystopian world has little hope and the constant threat of death is on your mind. With every turn, you will be faced with constant deceit, lies and treachery. Master your traits and skills as quickly as you can - they're all you have.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
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