Sorry "depressedbitch" but this information may lead to you hurting yourself! We wouldn't want that would we? Wait, what am I saying? Of course I would.

My expert analysis is that you were either physically, mentally, or verbally abused as a child and therefore are posting on the internet.

There are many signs of depression you want to look out for. If your best friend winds up dead in a bathtub full of blood, he or she may be depressed. Other signs may include jumping off of a very high building, posting on the internet, or registering for IGN Insider.

A lesbian and a gay man living with eachother? I smell an NBC situation comedy!

My expert advice is that you are fat and disgusting. NEXT!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, SEX EDUCATION DOES NOT FUCKING WORK. Teenage abstinence can only be ahchieved through the fear of the Lord Jesus Christ, or death. Either way the kids need to stop fucking right now.

I love the Something Awful "GOONS" as much as I love a good balcony, but some of them have a hard time making simple decisions.

Isn't this the sort of conversation you should be having with your father, school counselor, or parishioner, and not your mom?

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2020 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.