Two AwfulVision Presents? Back to back? Hell yes, son that's how we're rolling this week, bitch.
Actually, I was alerted to these monstrosities after I'd written the previous page's AV Presents, and just had to include this too. Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you: the downfall of western society as we know it.
If you live in "da hood", perhaps you are familiar with Homies; heck, I'm familiar with them and I live in the ghetto of upper-middle class Saint Charles, MO.
If you aren't familiar with them, let me fill you in: these little nuggets of shit can be had for a few of your quarters and a whole heaping lot of your dignity at a store near you! The idea is all well and good in theory: cheap collectibles targeted at minorities. Hey, that's fine with me. I'm a liberal guy. I'm down with multiculturalism. Hell, I'm as white as fuck and I can still relate to Homies more than I could relate to, say, a Mitt Romney action figure with Kung-Fu Grip action.
Okay, so all kidding aside, the figures themselves are kinda dumb and vaguely racist. Whatever, welcome to America, right? Wrong. These figures are more than "kinda" dumb and "vaguely" racist. Look at these fucking videos and bare in mind that THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE HOMIES ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS.
For our foreign readers, here's a short list of things that understandably don't fly in the USA:
1. Speedy Gonzales cartoons
2. Minstrel shows
3. Racially sensitive jokes
6. White people saying the "N" word.
And here's a short list of things that somehow do:
2. Mind of Mencia
I don't care who wins in November, I'm moving to Canada. This country is a lost cause.
Perfect Eggs Every Time: Hold an egg in your cupped hands. Put your hands over a fire, squeezing them together gently to crack the egg open. Try not to let any egg liquid or egg shell fall out between your fingers.
Absolve me of my past fines, so that I may checkout again.
You cant go around life being smart in an unconventional way, it could change the world.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!