How to spot a meth cooker
Hmm... so you say the warning signs are reclusiveness, a horrible odor, and a penchant for dressing like an extra from a 70's cop show? If any of your tenants meet these criteria, you are either renting to a meth cooker, a member of the Something Awful forums (particularly telling is the cat urine odor part) or, based on the actor in the video, one of the Beastie Boys from their Sabotage video.
Regardless, you should call the police immediately because the meth cooker is cooking dangerous drugs that might explode at a moment's notice, the goon may try to take pictures of your house and will destroy property values by leaving his Baconator wrappers all over the lawn, and the last Beastie Boys album was so terrible it may as well have been a crime.
Critics Corner™
"I might think of trying meth if I was guaranteed to hear that background music in my head."
-jayjayjay
This Week on Something Awful...
BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Mike's Teen News 2014
Today's viral teen news beat, brought to you by Mike from the Internet!
Realistic Expectations For This Year's Biggest Games
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Funny Things to Say to a Guy Drinking out of a Sports-Style Bottle!
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
About This Column
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!
Previous Articles
- AwfulVision Expose: msjackie69
- AwfulVision: Relax, it's ironic!
- Revenge of the Nerds!
- AwfulVision: Reader Mailbag #1!
- AwfulVision: Let's get retarded in here!
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