How to spot a meth cooker
Hmm... so you say the warning signs are reclusiveness, a horrible odor, and a penchant for dressing like an extra from a 70's cop show? If any of your tenants meet these criteria, you are either renting to a meth cooker, a member of the Something Awful forums (particularly telling is the cat urine odor part) or, based on the actor in the video, one of the Beastie Boys from their Sabotage video.
Regardless, you should call the police immediately because the meth cooker is cooking dangerous drugs that might explode at a moment's notice, the goon may try to take pictures of your house and will destroy property values by leaving his Baconator wrappers all over the lawn, and the last Beastie Boys album was so terrible it may as well have been a crime.
Critics Corner™
"I might think of trying meth if I was guaranteed to hear that background music in my head."
-jayjayjay
This Week on Something Awful...
The Incredible Observations of Slightly Taller Sherlock Holmes
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Explaining The 2016 US Election to an 1800s Deep Sea Diver
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
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What do Gary Busey, Master P, Snoop Dogg, and Jeff Speakman have in common? We have no fucking idea.
About This Column
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!
Previous Articles
- AwfulVision Expose: msjackie69
- AwfulVision: Relax, it's ironic!
- Revenge of the Nerds!
- AwfulVision: Reader Mailbag #1!
- AwfulVision: Let's get retarded in here!
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