How to spot a meth cooker
Hmm... so you say the warning signs are reclusiveness, a horrible odor, and a penchant for dressing like an extra from a 70's cop show? If any of your tenants meet these criteria, you are either renting to a meth cooker, a member of the Something Awful forums (particularly telling is the cat urine odor part) or, based on the actor in the video, one of the Beastie Boys from their Sabotage video.
Regardless, you should call the police immediately because the meth cooker is cooking dangerous drugs that might explode at a moment's notice, the goon may try to take pictures of your house and will destroy property values by leaving his Baconator wrappers all over the lawn, and the last Beastie Boys album was so terrible it may as well have been a crime.
Critics Corner™
"I might think of trying meth if I was guaranteed to hear that background music in my head."
-jayjayjay
This Week on Something Awful...
The New Ships Available for Star Citizen
Do all of your holiday shopping in the Star Citizen online store! We have great deals on space ships for a game that may not be released for years. Think of these as investments in your future enjoyment.
How The Olive Garden Hopes To Outdo Amazon's Drones
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty; Out of the Furnace; The Book Thief
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan
Dan Haggerty and Joe Estevez get grizzly all up in Paul Bunyan's bizzly!
About This Column
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!
Previous Articles
- AwfulVision Expose: msjackie69
- AwfulVision: Relax, it's ironic!
- Revenge of the Nerds!
- AwfulVision: Reader Mailbag #1!
- AwfulVision: Let's get retarded in here!
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