Pastor G. Ezekiel BeauregardWords of Honor
"If a man beats his male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished, but he is not to be punished if the slave gets up after a day or two, since the slave is his property."
I was told that GodTube is supposedly the more Godly version of whatever sort of atheistic liberal filth YouTube is. Well, imagine my utter shock and discomfort to find that the very first video I viewed apparently slipped past the GodTube censors! For shame!
What sort of hellfire are these trollops trying to bring upon themselves and more importantly their church and more importantly the male members of said church? As the Lord Jesus Christ himself sayeth "Any woman among you who spouteth off at the mouth shall be beaten by the men among you until such time as the woman is dead". In Jesus' day, these hussies would be put in their proper place, I telleth thee!
And the fellow this video centers around... rapping and yo-yo-yo-ing around like a dang old godless negro! This is the exact reason why we don't allow coloreds at the Preston Valley Faith Hope Evangelical Southern Baptist Church of God in Christ and Spirit for where coloreds go, the ruination of white children and Christian morals follows. Heed my words, coloreds: You can serve one of two masters: our Lord Jesus Christ or your NAACP. And the NAACP didn't die for your sins. Stick that in your bong and smoke it, Tyrone.
I tell thee all truly: God's "got book", too. And if your name isn't in it, you'll be going to HELL. FOREVER. Amen and Amen.
"LOVED IT!!! It also brings the message to the world that WE as Christians need to read the Bible to learn and Serve CHrist...Hope the Holy Spirit keeps inspiring u to write more in His Name...lol"
"DUDE! Okay, so like in my past life, you know the kind; before you were saved and you did all that stuff that you wouldn't DARE do now that you have been so GRACIOUSLY and MERCIFULLY spared and forgiven(thank you, Jesus)...for all of those things that you ought not dare to do again... well, I absolutely LOVED the original song. But what I quickly discovered after becoming Christian was that I still loved many of the old songs-the music, the beat,etc., just not the lyrics. So this my friend, has become an instant hit in my book-I was even dancing!But no, not the same way that I would have back then... what made this even more funny is that I am notoriously known for my "ginormous' Bible... Thank you Father for gifting us all with unique talents-thank you for using these artists to uplift me in this moment! YOU ROCK!"
"This video is awesome!!!!!I'm listening to it and they thought it was the bad verson. "
If you get these jokes, you KNOW you're smart!
"For all my education, accomplishments, and so-called wisdom, I can't fathom my own datajack."
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!