Submitted by Andrew P.
Pfft. What a bunch of posers. If any TRUE metal fan wanted to start a fire, they'd sacrifice a virgin to the Dark Lord Azathoth and then cast Firaga on the faggot (as in the pile of wood, not the dude wearing the speedo).
Welp, that about wraps it up for another hilarious AwfulVision! Thanks a lot to all the people who submitted videos and extra special thanks to the Indonesian sweat shop workers who ghost write my article each week! You are the best help that 25 cents per person per week can buy!
If you'd like to join in on the wacky hyjinx and tomfoolery, submit a video by clicking this link right here!
See you jerks next time!
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!