My penis is like my 94 oldsmobile cutlass. It' getting older, but runs like a dream. It can satisfy over 4 people at once, and has a good reputation from previous encounters with it.
My penis is like a 1986 Volvo 240 that's been garaged all its life by someone who hopes it'll gain value. If it were actually used as a car it would be stupendously reliable, safe for those using it, sufficiently powerful but not any more than necessary, and would be able to go 300,000 miles on only basic maintenance, so it's a damn shame that it's not actually used.
On second thought, mine is more like the Ford Model T. It takes some hand-crank action to get the thing moving.
My penis is like a Pontiac Grand Prix: Wider is better.
My penis is much like the Oscar Meyer wiener-mobile, in that it looks somewhat like a penis and many people find it humorous to look at.
My vagina is like an Ariel Atom, small and THE BEST THING EVER!
My vagina is like a camry as well: friendly, attractive, and reliable.
My penis is like an Escort Cosworth. it's got unnecessary ugly finishing, but it drives well. And 12 year olds keep trying to touch it
My penis is like a Volvo stationwagon. Safe and reliable but kind of boring. A functional tool that will carry the groceries home.
My penis is like a school bus. When it rear-ends someone at high speed, little people fly out the front. Because there aren't any seatbelts.
My penis is like a Delorean; when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit.
My penis will probably end up being like a FD RX-7 in a few years. Unreliable and prone to failure. Right now it is like a Suburban driven by a soccer mom. Large, sturdy, and built for heavy use but it is never going to get any action.
My penis is like a 97 Volkswagen Passat TDI. Sleek, aerodynamic, and red with an almost limitless fuel supply thanks to its turbocharged diesel nature.
My penis is like a '69 Vette: looks great and is a solid performere, but the owner doesn't take it out of the garage nearly often enough .
My penis is like that thing that transports the space shuttle. About forty feet wide and forty feet long, moves at a max speed of 1mph, and.. has it's own dick which would be the space shuttle itself.
My penis is like a Mack Truck, in that it's 40 feet long, 12 tons and made of metal.
My vagina is like a smart fortwo; it's small, compact, and can go for miles on very little fuel.
My vagina is more like a helicopter. Amazingly fun to play with if you have enough money to afford it, and I can hover and do an awesome vertical liftoff, but when driven by an amateur is liable to crash in a field, sadly killing both parties and a sheep.
My penis is very similar to a Geo Metro, low powered and embarrassing to use. Also quite inexpenisive.
My penis is like my 2003 Cobra. Quality isnt that great, gives an awful ride to anyone who chooses to take it for a spin and the only reason its really worth owning is because it's so fast.
My penis is like a pristine Thunderbird. Glorious and powerful, and almost never gets taken out of the garage for fear of getting it dinged up.
Bentley Turbo R. Quintessentially British, large heavy and takes a while to build up to its maximum potential. But when it's going, oh boy.
1986 Chevy Citation. Mid sized, White, No one can remember what it looks like, Takes a beating and keeps on going and every time I name it something bad happens.
My vagina is like a Mini Cooper. Small and stylish. Hard to get in, but once you're riding, you have the time of your life. Or maybe it's like a paddy wagon. COS I'M JAILBAIT.
My penis is like a PT cruiser. It will give you an immune disorder.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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