In my 300 level political science class, we have a guy who doesn't know the difference between Japan and China. He keeps asking about the "consequences of Japan's rapid expansion" and what Japan is going to do when it needs more natural resources.
No one's corrected him yet.
"Do Jews pray?"
This was at a private Catholic high school, so MAYBE that's why, but really, there's no excuse for being that ignorant. Also, I'm half Jewish (she didn't know that) and I had to seriously restrain myself from hitting her.
Last quarter I was in a technology class and we were discussing how the internet worked. Some girl raises her hand and said, "I don't plug my computer into a server to connect to the internet, I just plug it into the wall and it works like that."
Two gems from the same girl, both in 10th grade bio:
"If you get shot, does it make a hole?" and
"If the earth is spinning, how come we don't all fly off?"
Freshman college bio student (I couldn't stop laughing for almost five minutes even after the prof yelled at me to quit being a disturbance): "No way! Women don't have eggs!"
I had TWO people in past two weeks ask me how many days there are in a year. And they were completely serious. One of them is in nursing school with me (the other was my sister, and I am ashamed). Is this something people don't learn anymore?
The first day of my third semester of college, I witnessed this exchange.
"So, like, I have a question. Is it bad that I have the same professor teaching all my classes?"
"What classes are you taking?"
"Umm... Humanities I, Comp II, and Algebra."
"How can you possibly have the same professor for each of those classes?"
"Ha! I dunno... my schedule says it's some guy named STAFF."
A Muslim girl in my American Citizen class: "Jews can be citizens!?"
Right after hurricane Katrina in government class.
"This map is wrong it's got Jamaica on it. It's completely underwater after Katrina hit it."
After learning that African Kings sold their own people to the slave trade.
"So then why are black people angry at white people for slavery? They should be pissed at themselves."
This is my German 1 class that I took for fun. My German professor is from Augsburg, and is an honest to god badass and a really good teacher, this one girl (an English major) likes to harp on about specific grammatical questions, and bitch about how it's nothing like English. This, however, was the best.
"Excuse me, Herr B, I need help with something"
"Well, I'm having a hard time finding German dictionaries online. Do you know any good ones?"
"Try searching on google.de"
"What? .de? Germany doesn't have the internet!"
After watching American History X in high school, senior year.
"Ms. Edwards, why did Derek have a windmill tattooed on his chest?"
It's a swastika.
Finally: an advice column for the rest of us! (Who seek to enslave humanity.)
Even the most fervent gun control advocate would admit that guns kill people, not other guns. We must become the guns we wish to see in the world.
A Goon outs himself as a wizard and gets a warm reception from the rogues/rangers/paladins gallery!
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.