Dry your Pyrex dish, and put your legs back, along with that liver you had soaking. Get your fat warm-ish and pour it over everything. Make sure your duck legs are completely covered, and minimize food contact to the extent that it's possible. Fuck, not quite enough. I topped off with a tiny bit of olive oil. I know it's not traditional or kosher or whatever, but goddammit I could only afford one duck. Wait, what's this brown, gelatinous stuff at the bottom of the bowl?
spankmeister says "that's basically fond." Thanks, spankmeister! I will use this another day. Save this.
8) Now put your dish, uncovered, into the oven at ~210 (thanks, oven thermometer!) for 8-10 hours.
Now we're going to get started on the fucking Granita.
Hibiscus flowers, when steeped properly and sweetened right, taste like some kind of magical desert lemonade that comes out of the eyes of a sort of stone Virgin Mary idol in the middle of an oasis. Ginger complements their flavor nicely. We're going to make a half-frozen slush-with-a-spoonish thing out of them.
Ingredients (I didn't measure these out or anything):
Hibiscus Flowers (about 2 big handfuls, you want this stuff strong)
First, you get some water boiling. I'm not taking fucking pictures of that. Then you add your flowers and boil for a minute or so, then turn heat off.
Let it steep, with the heat off, for an hour. Then strain through cheesecloth into pitcher and refrigerate.
Now we'll get started on our ginger syrup. Take some fresh ginger. I really don't know how much this was. I was essentially drunk at this point. So, add this-muchish of fresh, finely diced ginger to a cup of water and 2/3ish maybe of a cup of sugar. Add the sugar slowly, stirring constantly, into simmering water. Dissolve on incredibly low heat and then baste the sides of the pan with the sugar-water, to prevent recrystallization. Add your ginger and steep for a while. It should look like this:
Combine your syrup and your agua de jamaica into a bowl. Don't be an idiot. Refrigerate this for a few hours before you put it into the freezer. Don't wantonly assume that a freezer is adequate just because it has "freeze" in the name. Don't chuck your hot liquid into your freezer that runs at, like, 33 degrees and isn't a notably hard runner in the first place. Don't thaw everything in your freezer and make what should have been a several-hour wait last a day or so.
You know what? Fuck this, we're making pretzels.
I have raised over $300 participating in quilting bees for the American Quilting Bee Society so I think I deserve at least seven minutes of your time.
Ernest Cline, writer of Ready Player One, shares his newest poem.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.