This week's Comedy Goldmine is all about making mistakes. Often times we hear things on TV or in the news that we plain just don't get or we misconstrue as meaning something else entirely. The Something Awful Forum goons, led by the infamous Dr.Eldarion, have illustrated this phenomenon expertly in their thread, "Misheard Items from the News." Enjoy, you poor saps. And be careful; some of these puns are deadly. Deadly like something that will KILL YOU.
Alaska: Forest Fire
Altie: Heavy Trading
Aphex Mandelbrot: Eminem Plays to a Sold-Out Crowd
Aphex Mandelbrodt: Shanghai Wins 2010 World Expo Bid
Aphex Mandelbrot: Turkey Ok's Use of Bases
b33fyr33t: iRack Inspector
b33fyr33t: Suicide Bomber
blairerickson: Foreign Minister
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.