Henchman Status Updates: Operation Imaginary Peninsula

Availability: On Hire (hire)
Contracted To: Adverse Interests, LLC.
Term of Hire: 30 days or d/c/f

Average Customer Rating: (rate)

Customer Review:
Doesn't Hail Satan, but Satan would hail him!

Reviewed by The Redstone Institute
I cannot even describe to you the headaches I have had with robotic henchmen. Maimdroid, Stabomatic, the Titanium Rapist, Digichoker, you name the model and I've probably tried it. Robots can be great if you want someone killed or something guarded, but they have no style. No art. Then I met FELL ROVER and my world was fucking rocked. A Mercury Rover that went to Mercury and came back homicidially insane? Yes, please. This is a robot that enjoys his work. He can be a bit hard on your other henchmen, but he is definitely worth the price. And be sure to ask him about his collection of human core samples. They are (more)

While patrolling the perimeter of the Imaginary Escapes Resort, FELL ROVER detected non-evil movement and sought to investigate. Arriving at the scene FELL ROVER found an abandoned zodiac boat and several SCUBA sets. Relying on his innate ability to track good, FELL ROVER located a six man UNFORCE commando team and a T.E.A.M. agent. Using a mixture of drills and lurching wheelies, FELL ROVER killed all six commandos. He cornered the T.E.A.M. agent and was about to drill through his core when the agent asked FELL ROVER if it was possible to "love hatred." This caused a logic core overflow and (more)