The Lost Archive
Rob - Hi, would you like to learn about the exciting financial opportunities in the new millenium?
Lowtax - Perhaps! Are you having a web-page?
Rob - Not at the moment, I can give you all of the info you need right now!
Rob - Would you be interested in learning about making money just like your favorite movie star?
Lowtax - JIM BALGEADUCIA?
Rob - Excuse me sir?
Lowtax - My favorite movie star is Jim Bagleaducia.
Rob - Oh, of course! You can live just like him, if you follow my easy 1-2-3 steps and you will be on your way to making millions!
Lowtax - millions of what?
Rob - Dollars!
Lowtax - OH OKAY
Rob - Soooooo, whaddya say? Are you interested in living like Jim Bagleducia?
Lowtax - he lives like a PIG (I am on the Jim Bagleaducia mailing list)
Rob - Let me rephrase it, are you interested in living like a king? We can make it happen. All it needs is alot of time, and a small fee.
Lowtax - How much fee? I have time, I spends all day on Internet!
Rob - Depends on how much you are willing to invest, you can start with 200 dollars, or work your way up to 200,000 dollars!
Lowtax - WOW
Rob - Yes, it is very promising. So, are you ready? All I need is your confirmation, we can speak on the phone, if you would like.
Lowtax - NO, cannot use phone, mother's on phone, she's talking to famous person who installs cable television
Rob - Well, when will she be off? It is much easier if we can talk on the phone, although I suppose it is possible via ICQ
Lowtax - I dont know, shes been on phone for long time. She calls famous man to come over, install cable, and there is dancing too. Now I just use Internet, look for moneys to invest in. We have moneys set aside for Internet programs, its where moneys is!
Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.