Not the happiest ending to a story, but thanks for contributing to the sum of human knowledge nonetheless.
"Michael explosive diarrhea." Interesting. I knew a kid back in junior high with a similar name, but it was just a nickname.
Stories of personal courage are the best, like when someone runs into a burning building to save a baby. Or this.
That song from Toy Story that goes "You've got a friiiiend in me" is in my head right now and it won't stop.
Your neighbors suddenly get a new reason to gossip about you.